My trainwreck is starting to take focus

Ya know I get a feeling there is a couple people (maybe even some fellow trainwrecks) keeping up with this project. I’m a little excited to say some serious epiphanies have been occurring in my life recently and I wanna give a special thank you. There are a few very important people in my life right now that have been helping me work out what has been going on in this brain as it reboots back to reality. Not the reality I created for myself because of my unfortunate situation, but the reality that exists beyond “me.”

You few have been guiding me back onto my track that I was on a while ago and got knocked off. It is incredible to me everyday when I wake up and I talk to others how this is not becoming necessarily “easier” but my path moving forward after my military career has been taking great focus. I’m finding purpose in things I never considered before and I am realizing how my positive and negative experiences have blessed me with the knowledge of how I can help others implement personal growth as well. I mean lets be honest, we all wish we could be the true person our six year old self thought we would end up as.

I wanted to be happy. True, I believe I told my mother I wanted to be a train (yes, an actual train). I wanted to be one. I wanted to run around puffing smoke out of my ass and pull my heavy load up a great big obstacle. I felt that would make me happy, not only carrying my burden but the burden of others. Guess which one of those wishes I actually got? I also found a reason for someone to knock me off my tracks and then resolve myself to living someone else’s version of who they felt I should be, not the true person I was all along.

Time to edit another shitty video that I liked making. I swear to paint by number Jesus this will make more sense as these days turn into weeks and months and by God years. I am formulating a friggin rockstar plan my railroad tracks are gonna lead me toward. I gotta find out a little more information but I will say I am learning more and more that Rachel Hollis chick knows what she is talking about. She speaks of finding purpose in all the things that occur in your life both good and bad. I am finding more purpose every day and I will be honest, I’m figuring out how to properly connect to people I can assist in ways I never even once considered. I’m learning how to produce not consume.

It will make sense, trust me.

You’re Welcome. Internet.

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