Last week we concluded our four-part series on Panic Attacks and I have to say it was a very eye-opening project! I think I am going to concentrate more on multiple-part series because I think giving you, my reader an idea of the direction of my work at small intervals will increase your focus and involvement. Just like Facebook, the Kardashians and sports I am offering something for your focus. A good buddy of mine, Dave and I were just discussing how a stupid meme gets more attention than valuable advice about financial wellness and personal development. A gazillionaire could literally stand on stage and give advice worth all the money in the world and people would avert their attention to a video of a cat playing piano. So this begins my 4-part video series on Purpose. Chasing our purpose, losing our purpose and finding greater, true purpose.
Figuring out our purpose and what we are supposed to be doing with our lives is both exciting and confusing. On the one hand, we get the opportunity to become someone we never thought we could possibly be. On the other hand, we often don’t even know what that means or how to figure that out. We read the words of others who tell us to pick something we want to be good at but then we are left questioning what that even is. We find ourselves struggling to fill a void where others appear gifted. We look at others and perceive an iceberg theory of success (Mueller, 2017).
So lets say we think we know what our purpose in life is but what now? When I graduated High School in 1998 I thought joining the military and getting a really cool job was my only purpose in life. I was a very young man who found purpose and participated in the invasion of a foreign country. When I was in my second term of military service and finishing my undergrad I had enough of the military and thought my purpose was to leave the military and become a Delaware State Trooper. Luckily I broke up with my fiancé and remained in the service to get my shit together after that emotional storm. When I reached my third term of service in the Air Force I thought I was supposed to be the most amazing SF troop the world has ever known and with my education and training I was gonna change the world. I was headed back overseas to show the world what I had learned since the last time I was out and about. I was a leader in full stride and nothing would ever stop me! I did it I found my purpose!!!
Michael Blankenship over at https://www.getyourgustoback.com/ identifies three simple steps to analyzing and executing action toward getting what we want in three easy steps. In his article “How to get what you want in life,” Mike details techniques designed for managing our fears, creating high-level strategies, and implementing an action plan.
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Well, a few years later I found myself with a traumatic brain injury, an assignment 100 miles from my wife and son, a failing career, an addiction to pain killers, alcohol and sleeping pills and a non-stop fear I would never again feel like a “normal person,” (whatever the Hell normal means). I was depressed, overweight and I had no friends. I was borderline suicidal and I lost all sense of purpose and belonging. I had no family close by and all I had for support were two selfish politically-obsessed weirdos with grossly over inflated views of their familial worth. I was well aware the Medfords hated me from day one but I will NEVER understand their hatred toward my son. I intend to publish more on the “Monsters in Law,” including why I took Jonathan to court (as well as his own six pages of diatribe) in response to his unacceptable child-predatory behavior, around Christmas 2019.
Well Trainwrecks, it was during this time I fell the hardest. Where I had once elevated myself in my own life to Rockstar status and through a series of unfortunate events, I then experienced some real bummers that I could not change. Now I need you all to understand something, throughout my life these bummers really sucked but they were not ultimately my downfall in life. Being raped when I was a little boy and believing that was normal, yes that was a bummer but it never created my downfall. It was something I dealt with and carried inside me, realizing I now viewed men and relationships very different. Living in my car that eventually broke down and being homeless and out of options, yeah that was a real bummer but it did not cause me to fall down and lose my shit years later at the end of my career.
Quite the contrary, when you’re out of options you will dig even deeper and work even more hours to put food in your belly. When you’re desperate you become efficient. When people show you hatred when all you ever wanted was love, you learn survival. Human beings will only take so much before they either choose to end their existence or they say enough of this shit and choose to fight back. When a rocket landed next to my position and almost took my life something inside my head snapped out of place and did not snap back to where it was supposed to be until the night I got incredibly drunk, swallowed more pills than my body should have been able to handle and intended to blow my brains out with my firearm.
The night of the rocket attack at Camp Bucca, Iraq knocked me off the rails and the night I decided to take my life in Springfield, Illinois was the night I began to crawl my way back on my tracks. In time I was able to come to peace with what was taking place in my life to the point I not only accepted what I could not change but I discovered what I could change. Most importantly I discovered the difference between the two. Now I’m not gonna get all 12-step program philosophical or anything like that. But it is important to understand what we have control over and what we do not have control over. I had control over whether or not I would feel like a complete failure despite my medical retirement from the career I loved. I had control over my decision to drink and take pain pills. It was MY decision to do those things in response to what was going on in my life. It was MY decision to drink alcohol to numb myself enough to allow my hateful in-laws to continue affecting my marriage, my life and my happiness (Tchicki, 2017).
I realized just how simple it was to remove that negative stimuli from my life and just like my Psychiatrist promised me, once I stood up to those bullies and excommunicated Jonathan and his disgusting wife from my family, the desire to drink away my endless misery would stop.
Once Jonathan and Denise were no longer making my family unhappy, I no longer had a reason to drink. My Psychiatrist and (everyone I talked to) were right. I honestly wish I had taken Jonathan to court a long time ago.
Trainwrecks if you feel you are affected by awkwardness, a failure to accomplish your goals and a general feeling of anxiety I want you to know you are perfectly normal. If you have reached a point of frustration or just want to know more about your potential to be who you really want to be and would like to explore your options in modifying your behavior through a professional coaching program, contact me for a free consultation. We will not only address what you feel your shortcomings may be, but identify one very important thing: who YOU are according to YOU! Please contact me via DJBeautifulTrainwreck@gmail.com for a free consultation and we will explore how we can closer align your lifestyle to your ideal self.
Who YOU really are!
Once I realized once again that it is US in charge of our lives I made the decision to stop trying to be what so many others wanted me to be (to make them feel better about themselves) and I was finally able to resume being the person “I” wanted to be. Over the next few videos I would like to share what it took to make those decisions and implement these changes into my life.
So, let’s have a discussion! Make sure you smash that LIKE button as you comment below.
- What are things you are doing in your life in an effort to discover your purpose, who you are?
- What are ways you have lost your purpose beyond your control and resolved to make adjustments to your plan to rediscover what will make you happy?
- What are ways you have overcome negative influences in your life to rediscover your purpose and what makes you happy?
Leave your comments below and join in the discussion.
Understanding our purpose and why it is so important is paramount in feeling happiness! Through a little bit of pain and initial discomfort we can understand our purpose and what we can do in life that will bring us happiness. We can do this!
You’re Welcome. Internet.
Tchicki, D. (2017). Five Steps to Finding Your Life Purpose: Look no further. It’s time to discover your life purpose. Psychology Today. Retrieved From: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201712/five-steps-finding-your-life-purpose
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